When you get married, it might feel like a relief to pass off all financial duties to your spouse. But choosing to offload your financial responsibility can come at a cost.
Take, for example, the following scenario: A wife recently checked into her household finances and discovered that there was $31,000 in credit card debt. With her husband controlling every cent, she doesn’t have clear insight on where the money goes.
The debt is shocking to her, especially because she earns $120,000 per year. Now, she wants to learn how to protect herself financially, especially in the event the couple gets divorced.
Although the average household with credit card debt carries a credit card balance of $6,065, the high interest rates typically associated with credit cards can make it difficult to climb out of this hole.
But the real problem doesn’t lie only with credit card balances. After all, financial infidelity isn’t just about secret spending. This couple is likely also dealing with a lack of financial literacy.
According to a recent study, only around 48% of adults in the U.S. possess a baseline level of financial literacy. Without the right knowledge, it can be difficult to get a household’s financial situation under control, even without the added complications of a controlling spouse.
Married couples often have shared assets, like a home or bank account. In addition to shared assets, many married couples share liabilities, like a mortgage or credit card debt. But when one partner doesn’t know about shared debts, that puts them at financial risk, especially during a divorce.
Many married couples often share joint responsibility for debts accumulated during the marriage. For example, if both partners open a joint credit card, they are both legally responsible for repaying that debt.
Even if you and your partner actively choose to keep your finances separate and avoid joint credit cards, state law might dictate that both partners are still on the hook for any outstanding debts. For example, if you live in Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington or Wisconsin, you’re on the hook for debt your partner assumes.
Whether or not divorce is on the table, it would be important for this person to get involved in the household finances immediately.
Although it can be challenging to establish new patterns of behavior around money, getting on the same page with your partner financially is critical.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, start by investing in your own financial literacy. As you gain competence around financial topics, you’ll likely start to develop confidence around making joint and individual financial decisions.
If planning to stay together, ideally, you’ll both come together around the central goal of money management. For example, if debt repayment is important to you, then hopefully you and your partner can commit to a debt repayment plan that takes care of the credit card debt as soon as possible.
If divorce is on the table, you’ll need a different approach. Start gathering information about the household’s financial situation. Tally up the assets and debts. If you aren’t sure where to start, look for credit card statements, tax returns, and bank account transactions to build a picture of where your funds are going each month.
With a clearer picture, move quickly to open your own bank account. Start depositing your paycheck into that account and build up savings to get you through the potentially rough patch ahead. In terms of household bills, you could transfer the necessary funds, and only the necessary funds, into the joint account for scheduled payments.
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If you are worried about your spouse opening more joint credit cards, freeze your credit temporarily, which prevents any new loans from being opened in your name or damaging your individual credit score.
Consider enlisting the help of a financial advisor to help you evaluate the situation and help you prevent any future financial damage. If divorce is a pressing concern, consider getting an attorney involved as soon as possible.
Regardless of the situation, it’s critical for both partners in every relationship to build some financial autonomy. Although it’s somewhat common for women to leave money management to their spouses, that can backfire even with the most supportive of spouses.
A recent report from Fidelity shared that almost 90% of women become financially responsible for their own situation at some point in their lives. This might be due to divorce, widowhood, or choosing to stay single.
With that in mind, it’s better to build financial autonomy sooner than later. It’s often most important to start with building financial literacy. Learning how to manage your money can help you set up a plan to protect yourself financially.
For many women, rebuilding financial autonomy involves building an emergency fund and establishing individual credit accounts, while keeping diligent track of your finances and your personal budget. After hitting these basics, the right move varies based on the individual’s situation.
For example, one woman might choose to pay down her credit card debt, but a debt-free woman might start to aggressively save for retirement.
For those lacking the confidence to map out their own financial plan, consider turning to a financial advisor to get started.
Along the way, you can evaluate the continuing need for a financial advisor as you gain the skills required to build long-term financial stability and independence.
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
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